How do Adventist Singles Handle Sex Before Marriage

“Is it right to have premarital sex?” This is a common question among committed adolescents and couples. Maybe you are in a relationship that is moving in that direction, but you are not sure what to do. In your mind, you are probably considering the pros and cons of premarital sex. On the positive side of the scale is the acceptance by his peers, the hope of pleasure, and the satisfaction of his sexual desires. The negative side of the scale bears the weight of morality, fear of pregnancy or illness, and guilt. How is this scale balanced? What is the correct decision? How best do you handle such situations?

Premarital Sex – Is it Moral?

Morality no doubt is the factor many people consider when it comes to premarital sex. Is it a factor for you? After all, the messages we receive today in most television shows and movies, tell us that “everyone is doing it.” In light of today’s permissive attitude, your peers may think you’re weird for even asking. 

But maybe there is something inside you, like a voice in your head, that makes you doubt whether sex before marriage is a right or wrong action. Many people may call this voice their conscience. How to know if your “conscience” is right? People around the world view the Bible as a book of morality, or religious. So, let’s see what the bible says about premarital sex. 

The Bible refers to premarital sex as fornication.

That’s a word we do not hear a lot these days, so what does it mean? Fornication is sexual relations between people who are not married to each other. The only distinction the Bible makes between premarital sex and adultery is that adultery involves married people, while fornication involves those who are not married. Premarital sex is as sinful as adultery and other forms of sexual immorality. All of them involve having sex with someone you are not married to. 

The Bible explains: “But the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body” (1 Corinthians 6:13). Verse 18 continues thus: “Flee from fornication: Any other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the one who commits fornication against his own body sins.” Galatians 5:19 says the same: “And you manifest are the works of the flesh, which are adultery, fornication …” Ephesians 5: 3 says it most simply: “But fornication and all uncleanness, or covetousness, do not even name among you, as befits saints. ” In these verses we see that the Bible promotes total abstinence from premarital sex.

Having known all these and as Adventist who follow the rules of the bible. How then can Adventist Singles Handle Sex Before Marriage.

Know the difference between a guy/girl who truly respects your decision and a one who doesn’t.

It is always possible to not feel strongly about holding off on premarital sex. Many people now take sex as a norm in relationships. But letting your partner know your take on it can go a long way to help this issue. When you let your partner know what you feel about premarital sex, if they respect and love you, surely they will respect that decision. Without questions, they can even take more efforts to ask how best to be helpful about it. Just be sure to always politely tell your partner when they are crossing the line.

Beware of pressure that can come is subtle ways. Partners might begin to demand an explanation or may want you to defend your decisions. If you are looking for a long term relationship, these pressures may not help out. 

Don’t wait until you are already in a horizontal position to tell your partner.

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One mistake you can ever make in a relationship, is not telling your partner on time. You can’t just wait till when you are all heated up in that position on the couch or in bed before speaking up. On the lady’s side, men easily get excited, could just be an innocent cuddle. Might be in the act of kissing and then you just stop. This can cause a lot of frustration, for men, the lady may begin to think you do not find her sexually attractive and may want to move on. So the key point here is, tell your partner about your opinion on time and don’t wait till they want to do something crazy before you can speak up.

Learn to articulate yourself with confidence.

Convincing your partner also requires some confidence. Confidence especially for partners who are not on the same page as you. Make your perspective to the issue as unique as possible. Instead of talking about what you can’t do, talk about the freedom of holding off on sex and how it keeps you both emotionally and physically safe. Make sure to foster friendship and emotional intimacy before physical intimacy. So whatever you fee can be your reasons, try to express them in the kindest way possible and make sure you are not ashamed of them. 

Get physical touch from other outlets, such as going for a massage or practicing yoga regularly.

On a personal scale, we are all humans and not objects. One time or the other there can be an urge especially when you love physical touch. Getting a physical touch from your partner may not be a good option because you just have to deal with saying no as physical touch is a form of foreplay. A good option is, get yourself enrolled in a spa where you can get massage or start a yoga class, studies show that these two help with built up urge.

Discover partners love language to show them how much you love them in other ways.

The society today has made us believe that sex is the only way to show someone how you love them. But that is far from the truth because one can get into bed with us because of the lust and craving they have for our body. There are so many ways to show love, it only requires a little effort. 

You should also spend time on things that take your mind away from sex. A girl can learn how to play video games if the boyfriend loves to, this way you even get to know each other and build a stronger relationship.